Are you at at your desk, prepping for an upcoming meeting and sifting through a backlog of emails? Or, are you reading this on your laptop at home, feet up on the coffee table, relieved that the kids have finally gone to sleep?
I’m at a rickety wooden table inside a brick coffee shop. Couches and chairs of every shape and colour litter the room and art students from the local university sketch or talk architecture at the tables beside me. The scent of freshly brewed coffee mingles with the smell of musty, carted down from the attic furniture. I love it here.
My favourite part about writing from the road is having you with me. So, what would you like to hear about? I could re-cap this morning’s historic walking tour of Savannah or describe last night’s dinner at the Olde Pink House restaurant (circa 1771) where I sampled cheese grits and collard greens for the first time. But, if you have read Friday’s post: Living on a Dream…Care to Join Me, you probably want me to get to the point.
Maybe you want to know if I got called on to ask a question from the audience at the OYou event in Atlanta on Saturday. Maybe you still have your fingers crossed because you wanted my question to intrigue Oprah so much that she would invite me to join her backstage so I could tell her more about My Story and My Big Dream. Maybe you want to know about whether I cried when Oprah came on stage or what if felt like to be in Atlanta with 4000 other fans.
The truth is I could write 10 posts about OYou. We could start at the beginning when the alarm went off at 5:30am (2:30am body time). You could picture the cab ride through the deserted streets of Atlanta to the World Congress Centre. The line of 1000 women, already giggling like school girls at 6:30am. The buxom black woman with the bright orange (from head to toe) track suit and the waif-like white woman who teetered in her stiletto heels during the hour plus wait in the pre-dawn light. The thousands of people who piled into line behind us. The race for seats. The welcome by Gayle King. The moving keynote address by Lisa Ling; the presentations by Martha Beck, Donna Brazille, Suzie Orman, Bob Greene, Dr. Oz…I could go on…
But for now, I will tell you this. The day was littered with AHA moments for me. And the biggest one came from a question I didn’t get to ask.
It was in the middle of Oprah’s afternoon keynote presentation, which I plan to tell you more about in Friday’s post. The camera panned from Oprah to a young girl in the audience (let’s call her Jane). Jane had written in, much like I had, and one of the conference organizers picked Jane (instead of me) to ask Oprah a question.
This bright-eyed 18 year old woman batted her long, so black they didn’t look real, eyelashes and ran a hand through her shiny chestnut hair. With a steady clear voice, Jane thanked Oprah for her time. Jane then told Oprah about her own little talk show (somewhere in the USA – I didn’t catch where). Jane went on to say, “My show is just like yours, but for a younger audience.” Oprah nodded and masked any irritation she might have felt about this presumptuous statement, “So, Jane,” she said, “What’s your question?”
Jane asked, “What advice do you have for someone like me, who is just starting out in this industry? How can I make sure my message reaches more people? I want to impact millions of people, just like you have.”
Oprah looked her straight in the eye and asked, “Do you want the millions or do you want the work?”
Jane did not pause at all, “Of course I want the work. I want to impact people. But the more people I reach, the bigger the impact I will have, and the more lives I can change, so it’s also about the millions.”
Like a patient teacher, Oprah said even more clearly, “If it’s really about the work; it doesn’t matter how many people you impact. If it’s about the millions, it’s about fame, which is a very different reason to do the work.”
Jane pressed on and tried another angle while I sat safely (and anonymously) in the 25th row and had my own question answered. Both my letter to Oprah in June of 2010 and my letter to the organizers of OYou came from a good place. I really thought, wouldn’t it be great if Oprah could help me reach a wider audience so I could inspire thousands (or even millions) of people to start A Fresh Chapter in their lives?
But, in answering Jane’s question, Oprah also set me straight. If it’s about the work (and not the millions), each of us can start exactly where we are. Each of us can choose to live a life filled with grace, kindness, and service, regardless of whether anyone else ever recognizes what we’re doing.
Cancer led me down an unchartered path to finding a passion for writing that I didn’t know I had. Now, I see that if just one of my stories about the lessons I keep learning helps just one of you feel a little more hopeful about your own future; a little more optimistic about seeing life in terms of what IS possible instead of what isn’t; or a little more willing to be vulnerable with the people you love then I have done exactly what I’m meant to be doing.
As Oprah said, “when I get to say something that means something to you and I have made a difference in some small way in your lives, I know I am doing EXACTLY what I’m supposed to be doing. So, start in your own house with your family and your friends and use your passion to serve these people in your life.”
So no, I didn’t meet Oprah. Or Martha Beck. Or Suzie Orman. But, I left OYou with a clearer perspective of what’s important to me. It’s not about the millions; it’s about the work. If I can focus on writing, connecting with you, learning from your stories, and growing as a human being, everything else will unfold exactly as it’s supposed to…
Beautiful post again, Terri!
“If it’s about the work (and not the millions), each of us can start exactly where we are. Each of us can choose to live a life filled with grace, kindness, and service, regardless of whether anyone else ever recognizes what we’re doing.”
Goosebumps!
Thank you An – I always love hearing from you and I appreciate the support!
Great wisdom and inspiration. And it’s only Tuesday. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you so much Diane. I always appreciate your comments and support!
This is so spot on, Terri! Sometimes I get caught up in the numbers needing to be big, thinking it won’t be of value unless it’s BIG, won’t matter unless it completely blows up. Then I think about just a few of the people in my life that I want to be whole and happy, and remember that if I can just help one or two people like them…and then, I remember that if I can just help myself, it will have all been worth it. All we can do is move forward, keep going, and offer a map and a prayer for anyone who might like to follow.
Jill – I love your comment. Thank you so much for sharing. You’re so right – sometimes it’s about helping ourselves…so we can live our lives in such a way that we might help someone else. Big hugs!
Wow, powerful insight. Sitting here digesting the concept. That one AHA moment makes all that went into going to Atlanta worthwhile. Also thinking about letting go of all the possible outcomes that run through our minds and embracing the (often unexpected) gifts and circumstances that actually occur. Keep enjoying the ride!
Always LOVE your insightful comments. Thank you for sharing and thank you for your continued support. It’s all about embracing the unexpected gifts. Big hugs! T xo
LOVED this post… love what Oprah said…
Can’t wait to hear more about your trip!
Selena – Thank you so much for the comment. Am so happy to have connected with you and I look forward to keeping in touch. xo
Terri,
I can NOT wait for you to get to NY to discuss this whole concept face to face. I am SO excited (just to be sure in case I haven’t made that perfectly clear already) to meet you. I hope we will be able to meet on Wed evening and again on Thursday! That’s not why I’m commenting here, though. I’m commenting here about this because my life changed when cancer changed my brain. And I had to switch things up at a point in my life when I believed it was too late to chart a new course. I began blogging with one expectation. I wanted to make a difference in the life of just ONE person (and I said, even if that life was my own-that was the way it was meant to be). It’s been all about the little stuff. It was the very first comment from a woman saying, “Thank you, I am struggling with this” ….. I reached my goal. One person. And a few weeks later, it was a comment from a woman in the UK thanking me for “vindicating” her-the tears are spilling as I type this. One person. It was reconnecting with another “girl” in London who helped me with my kids years ago. She now is a breast cancer “sister” and that hurt me in ways I can’t even describe. She was like a baby sister. But she had questions, we talked for hours and years ago, she helped me through a dark time and now, I was able to give back to her during a dark time for her. One more person. I am now surrounded by bloggers and a twitter community that is the most supportive group of people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. I love the way you write. I love that you are pursuing the path less traveled. You inspire me.
Love,
AnneMarie
Thank you for sharing this and for reminding us that each of us have the ability to make a difference in just one person’s life. I love the authenticity in your comment and I know you are making a difference very day! Big big hugs! xoxo
Fantastic – and frankly, that is a lesson we could all use. It’s about the work. It feels incredibly reassuring, almost relieving. No pressure to become famous, just encouragement to dig into our projects. Give our very best. And we have some great projects, eh?
Thanks for sharing, Terri.
My pleasure. Can’t wait to have a bit more time to check out YOUR big project. I know it will be a big success. Big hugs. T xo
Beautiful Terri. I turned my back for a few weeks and look at all your have done
What an amazing experience you share here… such an AHA for me in this article too. Love your Brene Brown story too. Excited for your journey… I’ll be sure to tune in more often. Love Shauna
Thanks Shauna. So happy to have you share the story and I’m glad it gave you an AHA moment too. Hope you’re doing well!
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Hello Terri,
Found you through a retweet (oh the power of social media) and I am so glad I clicked on the link! Thank you so much for this post, it kinda set me straight too
Love & light to you, Emmanuelle
Emmanuelle,
Thanks for your comment and I’m very glad we had the chance to connect. I’m looking forward to checking out your blog when I have a bit of a break from life on the road. Love and light right back at you! Terri
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