“It’s the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting, he thought, as he looked again at the position of the sun and hurried his pace.” – One of my favourite quotes from The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho.
This morning I woke up after an incredibly vivid dream. So vivid, I could swear that right now, sitting at my laptop in my sweatpants is a dream and last night, meeting Oprah for the first time and telling her about my new Big Hairy Audacious Dream was real….
For those of you who have followed A Fresh Chapter for awhile, you know cancer turned me from a pragmatic realist into a dreamer. In my old life, I wrapped my fingers, like the sucking tentacles of an octopus, around anything I thought could control. I thought if I could work 60-80 hours a week, juggle my schedule to try to make other people happy, and earn a six figure salary by the time I turned 30, someone would give me the key to a mystical place where my worries would disappear and I could finally relax.
Then, October 27, 2009 arrived and as I sat on a scratchy purple couch outside the doors of one of the cavernous conference rooms at the Vancouver Convention Center, a doctor’s voicemail pried the fingers of control open and I watched life as I knew it, slip right through.
Some of you know the rest of the story…18 months of treatment including 3 surgeries, 4 round of chemotherapy, baldness, a flat chest, hot flashes, depression, and disillusionment….what a ride. But, then…on New Years Day of this year, the heavy fog surrounding my heart lifted and for the first time ever, I listened to the Hell Yes in my gut and came up with a crazy dream to go to Africa.
With your support, I raised the money to participate in a six week volunteer program in the Townships of Cape Town. Some of you came along as I crashed into love with a group of mischievous 1-3 year olds, met women my age who had lost entire families to AIDS, and saw more joy on the faces of people who struggled to provide their families with the basic necessities of life, then I ever felt when I earned my six figure income.
Now, it’s time to share my next dream with you, but before I do, I want to ask you what your dream is? It doesn’t have to be a massive, change the world kind of dream. It could be anything…maybe it’s a dream of running your first 10km, or going to a yoga retreat in Thailand, or saving to buy your first home. What would happen if you started to tell people about your dream?
If you have visited the My Story page on this site, you have read my (still unanswered) email to Oprah and know about the book I am sweating through writing. But, today, I want to tell you about a different dream, a MUCH bigger dream that might involve you or someone you know. If I can just get past the anxiety building in my chest and string letters into sentences so I can share it with you, I know I will get one step closer to making it a reality.
I can hear you saying, as you think of all of the other things you need to do today, “C’mon already….what’s the
dream?”
So, here it is.
I want to start a not for profit organization to help other cancer survivors volunteer internationally. If you have a few moments, please come visit my new page entitled My Big Dream where I tell you more about why I think this experience might heal other survivors in the way it healed me.
I would love to hear your thoughts, positive or negative, about this idea because I don’t pretend to know what will work for everyone. Each of us who have faced cancer have handled the experience in our own way and come through it with a different perspective about what we need to move forward. This idea is still a red faced, naked, newborn baby and I know your input will help shape it through the sleepless nights and dirty diapers of its infancy…
In order to start making this dream a reality, I am officially giving up my apartment in Vancouver on September 30th, lending or giving away almost all of my worldly possessions and packing my bags for a trip around the world. As I write these words, the old me wants to drop-kick the new me and wrap my arms around everything I own and refuse to let go.
But, every time I feel the old tightness of fear clamp down on my chest, I look at Mark Twain’s quote, written on a card, and stuck to my fridge: Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines! Sail away from the safe harbour! Catch the trade winds in your sails! Explore! Dream! Discover!
I’m not suggesting that all of us should quit our jobs and travel the world in the hopes of starting a not for profit. But, I would love to bring you with me as I figure out a way to partner with a volunteer organization and then raise awareness for this new venture by traveling the world, volunteering in Asia, Africa, and maybe even South America and then putting the structure in place to help other people dream big, post-cancer, reinvent your life kind of dreams.
So, what do you think? I know as soon as I press publish, my mind will want to jump on the hamster wheel of my Hell Yes post. So, if you’re feeling ballsy and want to join me on my limb, I dare you to share one of your dreams in the comments section of this post. Or, send me an email to share some of your fears about a change you are about to make in your life. Perhaps together, we can support each other to sail away from the safe harbour! Besides, last night in my dream, Oprah told me how fantastic the idea was and how much she would like to support it…so I am telling myself to C.T.F.O. because you never know where your dreams might lead.
If you want to get involved or have any ideas around shaping this not for profit, please email me. I would LOVE your support and to hear your feedback. I have no idea how to make this happen, but recent events in my life have taught me that Courage is Not the Absence of Fear and if I dream a big dream, anything is possible.
Love your courage! This is amazing because your energy is positive and only good can come from that. Have you seen the videos of Oprah interviewing Wayne Dyer when he gave away all his world possessions to live the Tao? I had them on my facebook page a while back (I think you were in Africa at the time). Congrats!
Thanks Shauna…I think it will be fantastic lesson for me in letting go and not defining myself by my career or by my things. I saw a piece of that interview and it was definitely inspiring. Can’t wait to connect more about living courageously! You inspire me too. Chat soon. T xo
So proud of you…as your cancer friend, please sign me up! You’ve been such a great support to me throughout my treatment and beyond. So pleased you will share this support with others and help them realize their potential beyond cancer. Inspired.
Thanks so much J! Love your comment and can’t wait to chat with you more about this idea. Maybe one day you’ll be setting sail on an adventure of your own (in addition to all of the other adventures you have going on right now). Big hugs. T. xo
This is an amazing idea! I am going through cancer treatment now, but I have done some international volunteering in the past. If you want some ideas, websites, organizations, things to look for/look into, etc, I’d be thrilled to add some input. Either way best of luck, international volunteering taught me so much and I think so many people could benefit from the experience.
Aliza
Aliza,
I would love your input. Will send you a quick email later today, but thank you so much for your comment. Best of luck with your ongoing treatment!
T
xo
Part of my breast cancer experience includes an ugly divorce and losing my home and material possessions (except 2 suitcases and my chihuahua). I am literally starting my life over from scratch. And I’ve never been happier!
My dream, my audacious dream, is to own and operate a healing retreat where guests could come to get off the grid, partake of vegetarian meals, meditate, do yoga and Pilates, receive massages and Reiki; a place where beauty feeds the soul, a place where artists can find their inspiration and where the ill and injured can come to begin their healing from within. My audacious dream is to love and heal as many people as I can!!
Sherrie,
Thank you so much for your comment and your tweets! I love your audacious dream. It sounds like exactly the kind of place where I need to go in the future! Maybe while I am writing my second book? I would love to connect in more detail to see how we can support each other to make our audacious dreams come true! I have no doubt – you will love and heal many, many people!
Terri,
xo
Terri, my father didn’t make it to 60 and got cancer twice. He had a lot of very big regrets when he died. So as long as the travelling doesn’t make you lonely, which can happen if you’ve been on the road too long, I think you should do it. I don’t think there’s a better place to come than Africa, particularly South Africa. You’ll be welcomed, as you know, with open arms into places that have lost all hope. Good for you.
Phil – Thank you so much for your comment and your email. I look forward to connecting with you again!
All the best from the other side of the world!
Terri
Go Terri, feel the fear, the nervous tummy and building excitement…. then rather than run away start booking your trip! My own audacious dreams are going to be many and varied over the next few years, who knows where life will take me but first stop is hopefully going to be New York City. Nothing like moving to the other side of the world to take you out of your comfort zone! Maybe after that I will join you in some volunteer work?! Whilst BC is no fun at all, the upside is definitely a new outlook in life. Maybe we will both look back one day and realise that everything happens for a reason and be somewhat ‘glad’ it happened. Here’s hoping! xx
Yvette,
How exciting – NYC! When will you be there? I might be there in the fall before I head overseas, and would love to meet up and talk about life on the other side of BC! You’re right – the upside is incredible even if the downside stinks! I would love to have you join in some volunteer work. Let’s connect soon!
Have a great weekend and keep dreaming your big dreams!!!
Terri
You know how excited I am by your big dream Terri and how you can count on me for support in whatever way I can. I think it is amazing and wonderful – just like you!!! It’s funny, but your Mark Twain quote was one I sent to a friend this morning by email, a friend who was struggling with a decision on a new direction to take in her life. I hadn’t read your post at this stage, so you can imagine my smile when I did and saw this quote again. I am off now to send her this latest post as I feel sure, it has just the answer she needs to hear today!
Thanks Marie and as always – thank you for including me
Thank you for the support on the Big Hairy Audacious Dream and I look forward to one day sipping a cappuccino while chatting about all of the places life in our post BC world has taken us!
You and I really must be “sisters from another mister” for both quoting Mark Twain on the same day
T.
p.s. You are amazing and wonderful too!
Pingback: Weekly Round Up « Journeying Beyond Breast Cancer
my dreams…send some of my writing to a writing agent, own a horse, live in love, be a person people can share their heartaches with. be not only a horse whisperer, but a people whisperer.
Katy – Thanks for sharing. LOVE this dream. As for being a people whisperer – I think you already are
Love your blog!
T.
Xo
Pingback: If I Had My Life To Live Over | A Fresh Chapter
Terri,
Wow, you really do dream big! Good for you! My dream is a bit smaller. I want to finish my book. And then, of course, the real dream is to get it published and have people actually read it! I love stories about ordinary people and hope to make a difference sharing mine.
As for your dream, go for it!!
Pingback: It Takes Courage to Grow Up… | A Fresh Chapter
Pingback: Why Not Suspend Reality? C’mon, I Dare You… | A Fresh Chapter
Pingback: We Can’t Just Call Her “Baby” Forever, Can We? | A Fresh Chapter
Pingback: What’s More Important to You Than Your Fears? | A Fresh Chapter
Pingback: The Damn Mountain Under My Rug Has Returned… | A Fresh Chapter
Pingback: “Live As If This Is All There Is”: Best Moments of 2011 (so far)…. | A Fresh Chapter
Pingback: Releasing My White Knuckled Grip… | A Fresh Chapter
Terri, Great post! I am planning to republish it this Friday at Being Cancer Network. I will include two links to your site. You should see an increase in traffic. Please consider adding us to your resource page. We are dedicated to people writing aboiut and sharing their cancer.
Take care, Dennis
Thanks Dennis – I really appreciate your support. I have already added Being Cancer to my blogroll, but if you have a badge, I would be happy to add that too. I look forward to keeping in touch! Terri
Dennis,
I was honoured to be included in your site! Thank you for the opportunity.
Terri
Pingback: This Sh!t is Getting Real…. | A Fresh Chapter
Terri,
You. are. awesome. I was so inspired when I read this post. I think your dream is a fabulous idea and I support you one hundred percent. I’ve always had such a passion for traveling the world, and I think it’s amazing that you are doing just that to pursue your dream of starting a non-profit organization to help cancer survivors volunteer internationally. It is a beautiful dream. Go you for being so courageous and fun!
It’s wild because two of my biggest passions are traveling and doing anything I can to help conquer cancer. Your (hopefully-soon-to-be-and-wonderful) organization just seems perfect. After reading your post, I immediately went to the Cross Cultural Solutions website and requested information! My dream is to volunteer in Africa in the healthcare field. I get so excited just thinking about it! The only thing I’m worried about is the cost of the trip. :/ But hopefully I can figure something out and go do it!
Thank you, Terri – Best of luck to you in your adventures. xO
Jess
Pingback: Survivorship is Not A Phase… | A Fresh Chapter
Hi Terry, We met at the young women’s conference in Toronto last year. Your energy and ideas are totally inspiring. I truly believe if you put it out there, the universe will respond and help you make it happen. Sounds like you are well on your way. Good luck.
Natalie from Willow Breast Cancer Support Canada
Pingback: Choosing Hope… | A Fresh Chapter
Pingback: If You’re Feeling A Little Low on the Ho-Ho-Ho… | A Fresh Chapter
Pingback: Raising The Stakes and Going "All In" | A Fresh Chapter
Pingback: Risk Taking 101: Wanna Know The Secret? | A Fresh Chapter
Pingback: Risk Taking 101: Want The Secret? | A Fresh Chapter
Pingback: There Is No Escaping Now… | A Fresh Chapter
Pingback: Why Not? | A Fresh Chapter
Pingback: Everything Starts in a Minute… | A Fresh Chapter
Pingback: Have You Lost Your Dreaming Mojo? | A Fresh Chapter